There are somethings we will understand only when we meet Him.

Not till the loom is silent
And the shuttles cease to fly;
Shall God unroll the cancas
And explain the reason WHY.
The dark threads are as needful,
In the Weaver's skillful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned. ----Selected

No matter what is your experience, you can trust the heart of the Master. He knows what He is doing in your life and He cares for you! He has not promised to give every explanation down here. Oftentimes, I think that even if God begins to explain some things to us, we may not have the capacity to understand.
However, bye and bye, we will understand when we meet Him. Cheers and welcome to AD2010.